Pain, glorious pain, we would not be born into the world without it. Yet in our avoidance of pain we are magnifying it and in our fear of rejection we are staying stuck in the bland comfort of stunted growth.
Are we so afraid to make a mistake that we panic when it comes to taking action? And instead of leaping into our wildest dreams, are we missing opportunities out of fear.
Then of course we belittle ourselves for not being enough, not trying hard enough and not succeeding in the ways we expected.
How many of us have started out every Monday staring down the barrel of our week, already feeling burnt out, frustrated and longing for the simplicity of success to fall on our laps.
Waiting for the weekend and avoiding responsibility of our happiness by distracting ourselves with social media feeds and gossip.
Hands up if that’s you. Hey I feel you and you know what, it is going to be okay.
I am here to tell you, from experience, that pain is not your enemy, it is there to push you, guide you and shape you into what you want to become.
In understanding ourselves and where we are at emotionally, is it great to consider that there is distress (which is destructive) and eustress (which is euphoric).
Destructive stress feels like sweaty palms, fast heartbeat, a sense of inner turmoil, deep suffering, conflict, misfortune or sheer boredom and a sense of WTF am I doing with my life.
Eustress on the other hand feels like motivation, action, inspiration and productivity. It’s the drive to finish a project and the sense of a self-directed deadline that feels fulfilling.
It is in the self-acceptance of your discomfort that you can change distress into eustress by acknowledging the unknown, the painful and the confronting facts, that maybe we don’t know everything, that we have spaces within us that require expansion and that pain has a purpose.
As stated in research by Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) practitioners, in a study conducted by Bond University, the acceptance of, rather than resistance to a particular circumstance or condition, can reduce suffering.*
I too experience pain on a daily basis just as you do. Spoiler alert, there is no escape from yourself no matter where you are in life.
I have simply developed a sense of self-acceptance and in all honesty I embrace pain.
I say, welcome pain, what are you teaching me today and thank you, I am grateful for that lesson.
I accept that life and the world isn’t a perfect place, but I have the power to manage my own expectations and reactions to the imperfections.
It is not about being endlessly happy until your face falls off from maintaining a smile for everyone, it’s about asking yourself daily how is the pain I feel asking me to grow.
Pain is also a perception, someone’s pain of stubbing their toe maybe equal to someone’s pain of a memory of verbal abuse, both are experienced as painful however it is all relative to your life experiences and your pain tolerance that is created within your neural pathways over time.
Pain has shaped me positively and I am more peaceful because of my pain.
Due to my pain I advocate for ending sexual violence against children, I understand compassion because I know suffering.
I celebrate diversity and engage in daily acts of kindness aimed at ending suffering for all beings, because I know what it is like to feel marginalized and abused.
I practice stress management like yoga, running, meditation, connected relationships and my own practice of EFT because I know how distress manifests in our souls and bodies.
You can become your pain or you can grow bigger compassion for yourself and your world because of it.
Remember when you are experiencing pain, life happens for us, not to us.
“Noni Croft seeks to compassionately understand the human condition and celebrate everyone’s life experiences. She has a passionate interest in relieving human suffering through acceptance of pain and celebration of personal growth. A yoga and meditation teacher, an EFT practitioner, wife, animal lover and leader of peace, Noni is building a culture of kindness one human at a time”.
Get in touch/Work with me: hello@nonicroft.com
Belong to The Culture of Kindness group
*Citation: Emotional freedom techniques (EFT) as a practice for supporting chronic disease healthcare Kalla, Mahima; Simmons, Margaret; Robinson, Anske; Stapleton, Peta Berenice