Your best friends new haircut that looks so elegant and fresh, gives you a twinge of insecurity about your own looks.
Your partner’s co-worker who they get along with a little too well, makes your face burn with jealousy.
Your dream business that you want so badly to be wildly successful, but the embarrassment of the lack of likes on your social media is ripping your dreams up like they are made of paper.
Human’s all have insecurities, we all feel jealousy and surrender to grief when best laid plans fall apart.
Overcoming it? Well, that is down to choosing what emotions drive you, and most importantly understanding that often it is our subconscious patterns that are leading us around in circles.
How many times have you had brilliant plans to make your dreams come true, to get the perfect career, have the best health, the dream partner and have abundance flowing into your life.
And how often has it failed, made you feel sabotaged or left you wrung out and exhausted.
The good news is, patterns are just patterns, they are not your personality, they don’t define who you are. They are a piece of you that you have the power to change, they were created by you, often to protect yourself, so they can be changed into more positive and empowering thoughts, beliefs and actions.
Jealousy is a big one that we often push down into the dark corners of ourselves in privacy but yet it still leaks into our life, relationships and experiences.
We are meant to be thriving in a supportive sisterhood but often, we are suffocated by our own and others patterns of jealousy.
Jealousy is acidic, it robs you of joy, connection and trust, all the things you are actually longing for. It has the right intention, just not the right delivery or reaction.
It is vital to feel, express and own your emotions, so what is jealousy? Let us understand this green beast so we can conquer it.
Jealousy can be described as thoughts or feelings of insecurity, fear and worry of missing out.
In essence it’s FOMO (Fear of missing out).
When you are experiencing jealousy you may feel a range of feelings such as anger, insecurity, resentment, loneliness and even repulsion. Jealousy often occurs when we feel threatened.
The tragic part about jealousy is how it is tied into our self sabotage.
It forces us to distance ourselves from community, support and creates a cloud of darkness in and outside of us. We walk around with a negative vibe, we bitch and complain about being wronged by our perceived threat and end up creating drama, stress and isolation. When all we want is to feel special, important, valued and included.
People that make you feel threatened, are simply offering a mirror of your own insecurities.
The solution to dissolving jealousy is to create more space in your own life to feel valuable, to build your self esteem without needing to bring anyone else down and to look inside yourself rather than pointing the finger outwards. It’s hard, it’s uncomfortable and it’s messy.
Anytime jealousy and the related sabotage comes into your life, take a breath, a step back and do some self enquiry.
Ask yourself, when did I first feel jealous, threatened or insecure. Was it when you got a sibling or maybe when a partner cheated?
Your subconscious holds onto experiences of pain, shame, embarrassment and threats to your state of balance. Then we start to live our life with these learned behaviours and patterns which repeat again and again, re-enforcing themselves and growing in strength in the backs of our minds.
It is your choice to keep these patterns or to remove them.
If you believe you are always wronged in a relationship it will keep happening, if you believe you always get looked over for growth or promotion in your career then it will keep feeling unfair or if you believe you are not good-looking enough, interesting or inspiring enough to make change in the world then you will have self sabotage eat up all your potential.
Every time these experiences happen, it is an opportunity to look inward about the beliefs and patterns which are eroding your happiness, success and connection. It is a chance to evolve your inner workings by acknowledging them rather than shoving them down deeper inside where they only fester.
Choose to step away from jealousy, own that your feelings are not happening to you, they are happening for you. It is about you and your growth. Start believing that everyone is welcome to feel important, loved and special, including you!
Raise the vibration of your circles, be a positive motivator, look for ways to bring yourself and everyone up rather than spending your energy in feelings of jealousy and insecurity.
I believe in you. You can believe in you too.
Noni Croft
Qualified EFT Counsellor
Ready to overcome your struggles?
Book now: hello@nonicroft.com